This week came after an amazing weekend on my beautiful homeland of Long Beach Island, NJ. For the past 5 years a group of my friends has put together what we refer to as The Barcycle. We rent beach cruisers, start at the northern end if the island in Barnegat Light and ride south to Beach Haven stopping at each bar along way. This year I had some out of towners join in the on the fun and it made for a new, exciting experience. Sunday evening my boyfriend and I returned home to Maryland for a quick week of work before heading back up to the dirty for our biggest weekend 4th of July. Not only is it 4th of July, its also my best lady's birthday & our annual BBQ.
The week began anxiously. There was no time to mope around about the past weekend and the fun we had that came to an end because we had something amazing to look forward to. So I planned to take each day in stride to make it to the finish line. And that is where my plan went wrong.
In the middle of the Sunday night I wake up to my adorable pup Sophie sick. She isn't her usual bile sick, she's actually throwing up - never happens. So She gets sick, I give her a little rub and its back to bed. Wrong again. A few hours later she's up and sick again. This now goes on for the rest of the night. In the midst of all of this I realize I want no part of a new born child and if my boyfriend groans at me again about the blankets moving I'm throwing the vomit on him. Monday morning Sophie and I are finally getting some sleep and I realize oh I have work and while there is usually no issue with me working from home, before I left to barcycle on Friday the VP of my department told me to be at work on Monday otherwise everyone would know why I wasn't - wonderful. I grab my phone and text a friend to tell her to tell everyone Sophie is sick and I'll be in as soon as I can. I get Soph up, walked, fed, watered and all seems well so I go into work. Business as usual.
Wednesday morning rolls around, I now must go into work 30 mins early because I have to go shadow a meeting at one of our field offices (the office my boyfriend happens to work in). Myself and two other individuals roll up to this field office and I may as well have gotten hit by a car, because honestly I probably would have been in a better mood.
We sit down to have a quick meeting with a few members of office leadership. I watch their reactions: interest from the new guy, glazed over for about everyone else. Then one of them happens to get drawn back into the conversation and that is when the defense mechanism kicks in. You would think I was sitting across the table from one of those Germans who insists the Holocaust didn't happen. All the while I listen and try my best not to make any faces. Until he tries to lie to me and tell me that he and the other leadership are "caring" and a bunch of other adjectives that they probably couldn't even show me an example of. That is when I through all office etiquette to the wind and begin to text message. My message to my boyfriend out in the main part of the office read, "I have never encountered an individual more full of shit than (insert name here)"... Aside from this he in a jerkish way asked who I was, what I did & then discredited all of this because I've been with the company for only 9 months. Now I've completely checked out and am starting to vividly hate these men sitting across from me. Let's just say the meeting ending with him asking me if I had any questions, aside from "who the hell hired you? and "doesn't your mother hate you?" I did not. He then proceeds to THROW his business card in my face which then lands on the ground. I have never hated an individual more.
Well that encountered resulted in me being a grouch all day, referring to my desk as my trash can and spending the entire night googling videos of Dave Chappelle's Sesame Street skit to cheer myself up. I was fully aware I was a delight to be around and tried my best to reverse this, auto correct fails really seemed to help - they are hysterical.
And here we are, its Friday, its Lauren's birthday, the start of 4th of July weekend, the day before my epic BBQ, and the first time I've seen my girlfriends since Christmas. I, however had to come into work to meet with Big Mr. Fancy Pants I Yell at People in Meetings and Keep Getting Promoted. Meanwhile I have been having nightmares and eye twitches about this meeting for months, I'm prepared to present my work and ready to get torn into only to tear right back. I get to work an hour early today to prep for my pre-meeting meeting with 2 of my favorite bosses, print everything & am off. Well I should probably point out that I know how fancy Big Mr. Fancy Pants is, so I asked weeks ago if he'd actually be in the the Friday before 4th of July, I was told yes. So it comes as no surprise that of course HE WASN'T! Not only because its the Friday before the 4th of July, but because it is also his birthday. Seriously, why the hell would you accept the outlook invite!?!?!?? Is it funny to make a young girl twitch? Do you get your kicks out of making people think of alternative reactions when you scream? Or are you just a yerk like the POS I met on Wednesday? I vote all of the above. So here I am at work, with absolutely nothing on my schedule - when I could have returned to my beautiful serene homeland last night. Now I have to wait for Chad to get off work, so in the meantime I shall sit here & think about how everyone is at the beach.
So back to the title of this. Yerks. Honestly, who even invites them? No one likes yerks, yerks shouldn't get ahead, so I beg to ask how did it get this far? Were they once nice individuals and have become heartless over time, or have they always had sewage running thru their veins? Either way, stay jovial kids because once you become a yerk people start blogging behind your back.
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